that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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