Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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