in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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