the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
