I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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