i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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