Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
