Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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