How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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