I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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