you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
how can u be prego again
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
