why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Couch. On fire.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
