I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
