I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
