My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
