Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
