ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
