What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
i think my cat just said my name.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
