I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
