nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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