OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She's the barista slut.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
