I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
