the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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