so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
