i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
