Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
