I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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