guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
