So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
