doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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