his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I wish life had little blips of pornography
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
