yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
