If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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