cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
even my farts smell like vagina
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
