just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
