Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
