three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I have post one night stand depression
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
