She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
