Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
