ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
