A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Boobs are out for the taking
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
