I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
whose parrot is this?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
