I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
All I want is dick and wine.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
