it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
