dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
