i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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