morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
