Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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