I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
