worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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