brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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