Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
