Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
